Fool Chapter 11

ELEVENA SWEET AND BITTER FOOLGoneril dumped me on the floor as if shed suddenly found a bag of dr avowed kittens in her lap. She snapped open the letter and began reading with reveal stock-still bothering to tuck her bosoms top into her gown.Mi madam, express Oswald again. Hed learned from that first mopping. He acted as if he didnt even master me. Your father is in the great h tout ensemble, asking after his bum.Goneril looked up, irritated. Well, then, take him. yield him, take him, take him. She waved us away handle flies.in truth puff up, milady. Oswald saturnine on his heel and marched away. Come, fool.I stood and rubbed my hindquarters as I followed Oswald out of the solar. Yes, my backside was bruised, tho on that point was pain in my heart as well. What a bitter bitch to cast me out succession my bum still burned with the blows of her passion. The bells on my coxcomb drooped in despair.Kent fell in beside me in the residence. So, is she smitten with you?With Ed mund of Gloucester, publish I.Edmund? Shes smitten with the bastard?Aye, the fickle whore, verbalize I.Kent looked startled and folded back the brim of his hat to better see me. except you bewitched her to do so, didnt you?Oh, yes, I suppose I did, give tongue to I. So, she was precisely immune to my ch mail by means of dark and powerful magic. Ha I felt better. She reads the letter I forged in his hand even now.Your fool, Oswald announced as we entered the hall.The old king was in that location, with Captain Curan and a 12 other knights who looked like theyd just returned from the hunt for me, no doubt.My boy Lear countered, throwing his arms wide.I walked into his embrace, but did non return it. I found no tenderness in my heart at the sight of him, but my rage boiled still.Oh joy, give tongue to Oswald, his disdain dripping like venom in his voice. The prodigal git returns.See here, verbalize Lear. My men collapse to that degree to be paid. Tell my daughter I will see her.Oswald did non acknowledge the old man, but kept walking.You, sir ro atomic number 18d the king. Did you hear me?Oswald turned slowly, as if hed perceive his name carried in faintly on the wind. Aye, I hear you.Do you know who I am?Oswald picked a front tooth with the perk up of his small finger. Aye, my ladys father.He smirked. The rascal had cheek, that I will give him, that or a burning desire to be catapulted cod over diadem into the afterlife.Your ladys father Lear fleeceed off his heavy leather hunting gauntlet and backhanded it a patsy Oswalds face. You knave You whoreson dog You slave You curThe surface studs on Lears glove were beginning to draw blood where they struck Oswald. I am none of these things. I will not be struck by you. Oswald was backing toward the great double doors as Lear worried at him with the glove, but when the steward turned to run Kent threw out a thole and swept him off his feet.Or tripped, neither, you tosser utter Kent.Oswald roll ed into a heap at the foot of one of Gonerils withstands, then scrambled to his feet and ran out. The guards put on theyd seen secret code.Well done, friend, verbalize Lear to Kent. Are you the one who brought my fool home?Aye, he is, nuncle, tell I. Rescued me from the darkest heart of the fo anticipate, fought off brigands, pygmies, and a brace of tigers to figure out me here. But dont let him talk his Welsh at you, one tiger was vanquished in a sluice of phlegm and mortally beaten with consonants.Lear looked nearly now at his old friend, then shivered guilts chill claws scuttling crossways his spine, no doubt. Wel jazz, then, sir. I thank thee. Lear handed Kent a small purse of coin. anxious payment for your service.My thanks and my sword, state Kent, bowing.What is your name? asked Lear.Caius, say Kent.And whence do you hail?From Bonking, sire.Well, yes, lad, as do we all, give tongue to Lear, but from what town?Bonking Ewe on Worms Head, I offered with a shrug. Wale s Fine, then, join my civilise, said Lear. Youre hired.Oh, and allow me to hire you as well, said I, removing my hat and handing it to Kent with a jingle.Whats this? asked Kent.Who but a fool would lend for a fool?Watch your tongue, boy, said Lear.Youll lay down to get your own hat, fool, said I to the king. Mine is already promised.Captain Curan turned to hold a smile.You cry (out) me a fool?Oh, should I not call you fool? All your other titles you aim given away, along with your land.Ill take up you whipped.I rubbed my burning bottom. That is the only legacy you have left, nuncle.Youve become a bitter fool in your absence, said the king.And you the sweet one, said I. The fool who makes a jest of his own fate.The boy is not altogether fool, said Kent.Lear turned on the old knight, but not in evoke. Perhaps, said he, weakly, his eye drifting to the stones of the floor as if searching for an answer there. Perhaps.The lady, Goneril, Duchess of capital of New York announced on e of the guards.Craven hose-beast I added, relatively certain the guard would forget that part.Goneril breezed into the room, no notice of me, she went right to her father. The old man opened his arms but she stopped short, a sword-length away.Did you strike my man for admonition your fool? Now she scowled at me.I rubbed my bum and blew her a kiss.Oswald peeked through the doors to the hall, as if waiting for the answer.I struck the knave for being impudent. I but asked him to fetch you. My fool has only just returned from being lost. This is not a time for frowns, daughter.Therere no smiles for you, sire, said I. Not now that youve nothing to offer. The lady has only bile for fools and those with no title at all.Quiet, boy, said the king.You see, said Goneril. Not just your all-licensed fool, but your whole ascertain treats my palace like a tavern and a brothel. They fight and eat all day, drink and carouse all night, and you care for nothing but your rare fool.As it should b e, said Jones, albeit softly when royal ire is raging, even the expectoration sprayed from their lips can rain down death on the common fauna or person.I care for much, and my men are the best in the land. And they have not been paid since we left London. Perhaps if you They will not be paid said Goneril, and suddenly all the knights in the hall came to attention.When I gave you all, twas on the condition of you maintaining my retinue, daughter.Aye, Father, and they shall be maintained, but not in your charge, and not in their full number.Lear was growing red-faced now, and shaking with anger as with palsy. Speak clearly, daughter, these old ears deceive.Now Goneril went to her father and took his hand. Yes, Father, you are old. Very old. Really, really, unornamentedordinarily, mind-bogglingly She turned to me for a cue.Dog- have it offly, I suggested. dog-fuckingly old, said the duchess. You are feebly, incontinently, desiccatedly, smelling-of-boiled-cabaggely old. You are brain-rottingly, balls-draggingly Im fucking old said Lear.Well stipulate that, said I.And, continued Goneril, while you, in your dotage, should be revered for your wisdom and grace, you piss on your legacy and story by keeping this train of ruffians. They are too much for you.They are my loyal men and you have agreed to maintain them.And I shall. I shall pay your men, but half will stay here at capital of New York, under my charge, under my orders, in soldiers quarters, not running about the bailey like marauders.Darkness and devils, cursed Lear. It shall not be Curan, buck my horses, call my train together. I have another daughter.Go to her, then, said Goneril. You strike my servants and your rabble makes servants of their betters. Be gone, then, but half your train shall remain.Prepare my horses said Lear. Curan zip out of the hall, followed by the other knights, passing the Lord Albany as he entered, the duke looking more(prenominal)(prenominal) than around confused.Why d oes the kings captain choke with such urgency? asked the duke.Do you know of this harpys intent to strip me of my train? asked Lear.This is the first Ive perceive of it, said Albany. Pray, be patient, sire. My lady? Albany looked to Goneril.We do not strip him of his knights. I have offered to maintain them here, with our own force, while Father goes on to my infants castle. We shall treat his men as our own, with discipline, as soldiers, not as guests and revelers. They are out of the old mans control. Albany turned back to Lear and shrugged.She lies said Lear, now wagging a finger under Gonerils nose. universal gravitational constant dislike viper. Thou ungrateful fiend. Thou hideous uh Slag32 I offered. Thou piteous prick-pull. Thou vainglorious virago. Thou skunk-breathed licker of dog scrotums. Do get up in, Albany, I cant go on forever, no matter how inspired. Surely youve old age of suppressed resentment to vent. Thou leprous spunk-catch. Thou worm-eaten unsympathet ic up, fool, said Lear.Sorry, sirrah, I purview you were losing your momentum.How could I have given pick to this villainess over my sweet Cordelia? asked Lear.Doubtless that question was lost worse in the wood than I, seeing as it has only caught up with you now, sire. Shall we take chase against the impact of the revelation that youve awarded your kingdom to the best liars of your loins? Who would have thought it, but Id felt more charity toward the old man onwards he realized his folly. Now He turned his eyes skyward and began to invoke the gods Hear me, nature, dear goddess hear.Convey sterility onto this creature,Dry up her wombAnd never let a babe spring fromHer eubstance to honor her.Instead create in her a child of irascibility and bile. permit it torment her, and stamp wrinkles in her youthful browLet it turn all of her mothers benefitsTo laughter and contempt, that she may feelHow sharper than a serpents toothIt is to have a thankless child With that the old man st ir at Gonerils feet and stormed out of the hall.I think he took that as well as could reasonably be expected, said I. I was ignored, despite my peremptory tone and sunny smile.Oswald called Goneril. The smarmy steward slithered forth. Quickly, take the letter to my sister and Cornwall. Take two of the fastest horses and alternate them. Do not rest until it is in her hand. And then take you to Gloucester and deliver that other message as well.You have given me no other message, lady, said the worm.Yes, right, come with me. We shall sketch a letter. She led Oswald out of the great hall leaving the Duke of Albany looking to me for some sort of explanation.I shrugged. She can be a whirlwind of tits and terror when she puts her mind to a purpose, cant she, sir?Albany didnt seem to notice my comment, somewhat forlorn, he looked. His beard seemed to be greying with worry as he stood there. I dont approve of her treatment of the king. The old man has earned more respect. And what of these messages, to Cornwall and Gloucester?I started to address, thinking it a perfect opportunity to mention her newfound meat for Edmund of Gloucester, my recent session of bawdy discipline with the duchess, and a half-dozen metaphors for illicit shagging that had come to mind while the duke mused, when Jones said Sex and cuckoldryYouve mastered those jokesFor a more challenging japeA new seal should be broke. What? said I. Whenever Jones has spoken before it has been in my own voice smaller and soften sometimes, from the art of throwing it, but my voice alone, unless Drool is mimicking the shaft. And it is I who works the slight ring and string that move Joness mouth. But this was not my voice, and I had not moved the puppet. It was the voice of the girl ghost from the White Tower.Dont be tedious, Pocket, said Albany. Ive no patience for puppets and rhymes.Jones said A thousand rough nightsTo call the lady a whore,Only today may a fool, intercommunicate the land into war? And li ke a shooting star bare-ass brilliant across the ignorant night of my mind, I saw the ghosts meaning.I said I know not what the lady sends to Cornwall, good Albany, but while I was this last month in Gloucester, I heard soldiers talk of Cornwall and Regan gathering forces by the sea.Gathering an army? Whatever for? With low Cordelia and Jeff now on the throne in France, it would be folly to cross the channel. Weve a safe ally there.Oh, they arent gathering forces against France, they are gathering forces against you, my lord. Regan would be queen of all of Britain. Or so I heard said.You heard this from soldiers? Under whose flag, these soldiers?Mercenaries, lord. No flag but fortune for them, and the word was there is coin aplenty for a free lance fighter in Cornwall. I have to be off. The king will need someone to whip for your ladys rude announcements.That doesnt seem fair, said Albany. He had a spark of decency in him, really, and somehow Goneril had not yet been able to smoth er it. Plus, he seemed to have forgotten about accidentally hanging me.Dont worry for me, good duke. You have worries of your own. Someone must take a hit for your lady, let it be this humble fool. Pray, tell her I said that someone must invariably hit it. Fare thee well, duke.And merrily I was off, bottom stinging, to let purloin the dogs of war. Hi hoLear sat on his horse outside move Albany, howling at the sky like a complete lunatic.whitethorn Natures nymphs bring great lobster-sized vermin to infest the rotted nest of her cleaning lady bits, and may serpents fix their fangs in her nipples and wave there until her poisoned dugs33 go disconsolate and drop to the ground like overripe figsI looked at Kent. reinforced up a spot of steam, hasnt he? said I.May Thor cock at her bowels and produce flaming flatulence that wilts the forest and launches her off the battlements into a reeking dung heapNot really adhering to any detail pantheon, is he? said Kent.Oh, Poseidon, send your one-eyed son to stare into her bituminous heart and ignite it with flames of most hideous suffering.You know, said I, the king seems to be leaning rather heavily on curses, for someone with his unsavory annals with witches.Aye, said Kent. Seems to have steered his wrath toward the eldest daughter, if Im not mistaken.Oh, you dont say? said I. Sure, sure, that could be it, I suppose.We heard horses galloping and I pulled Kent back from the drawbridge as two riders, leading a train of six horses, thundered across.Oswald, said Kent.With extra horses, said I. Hes gone to Cornwall.Lear broke with his cursing and watched the riders take out across the moor. What business has that rascal in Cornwall?He carries a message, nuncle, said I. I heard Goneril order him to report her mind to her sister, and for Regan and her lord to go to Gloucester and not to be in Cornwall when you arrive.Goneril, thou foul monstress said the king, clouting himself on the forehead.Indeed, said I.Oh, evil monstr essTo be sure, said Kent.Oh, pernicious monstress, perfect in her betrayalKent and I looked at each other, knowing not what to say.I said, said Lear, most pernicious monstress, perfect in her perfidyKent mimed a congeal of generous bosoms on himself and raised an eyebrow as if to ask, Boobs?I shrugged as if to say, Aye, boobs sounds right.Aye, most pernicious perfidy indeed, sire, said I.Aye, most bouncy and jiggling perfidy,34 said Kent.Then, as if coming out of a trance, Lear snapped to attention in his saddle. You, Caius, have Curan saddle a fast horse for you. You must go to Gloucester, tell my friend the earl that we are coming.Aye, my lord, said Kent.And Caius, see that my apprentice Drool comes to no harm, said I.Kent nodded and went back across the drawbridge. The old king looked down to me.Oh, my more or less Black Fool, where from fatherly duty did I stray that such ungratefulness should rise in Goneril like mad fever?I am only a fool, my lord, but making a guess, Id sa y the lady may have in her delicate youth required more discipline to shape her character.Speak plain, Pocket, Ill not hold harm against you.You postulate to smack the bitch up when she was tender, my lord. Instead, now you hand your daughters the rod and pull down your own breeches.Ill have you flogged, fool.His word is like the dew, said the puppet Jones, good only until put under light of day.I laughed, ingenuous fool that I am, no thought at all that Lear was adequate as inconstant as a butterfly. I need to speak to Curan and find a horse for the journey, sirrah, said I. Ill bring your cloak.Lear sagged in the saddle now, spent now from his ranting. Go, good Pocket. Have my knights prepare.So I shall, said I. So I shall. I left the old man there alone outside the castle.