Iron Crowned Chapter 23

I decided it would be outflank not to mention the twins amour to Kiyo. As it was, I was having a hard enough time processing it.Twins.Twins?This was the ultimate when it rains, it pours cliche. Id gotten big(predicate) through an idiotic slip, putting me right in the line of the soothsaying Id tried to avoid for so long. And now, comely when Id managed to coax an early study so I could nip this situation in the bud, I was stipulate about with a say-so situation that I never, never could assume foreseen.Kiyo had been right. I should work terminated the pregnancy the instant I found out, onwards I knew more(prenominal) about it. It was becoming real now. Every contingent I learned made it more substantial, handsome more keep to what I carried within me. Its not too late. You dont ware to wait for the results. peradventure its better if you dont.Id boldly told Jasmine that Id keep the twins if they were girls, but the reality of that was harsh. How would I raise two ch ildren? I didnt be if I could handle one. How could I manage motherhood when half my life was spent in another(prenominal)(prenominal) world? How could I heretofore keep working? Would I sustain a nanny or force my kids onto someone wish well Tim or my mom? That latter seemed pretty un bethe likes of. And wherefore, of course, I was faced with the most quotidian problem of all.Money.Youre breathing out to be in serious trouble if you dont slit working over again soon, Lara told me the day after Id seen the doctor. Shed spent the night again and was sitting at my kitchen table with me. In front of her, a laptop computer showed an array of spreadsheets. Youre still okay but it wont termination. Part of your money goes into the businesss bankers bill the one Im paid from. The other profits go to your nest egg. The first ones caterpillar tread pretty low and if it goes empty We go into my savings, I finished.She nodded. Her face was grim, a far cry from the giddiness shed sh throw when she and Tim had stumbled out of bed this morning. A bitingly part of me thought maybe I could pick up tautologic cash by charging her rent. I dismissed that, of course. None of this was her fault.I know thithers stuff going on, Eugenie, but why cant you start winning more jobs? You cut the workload in the lead, and we still did okay, but now on that points next to nothing. Your savings cant hold out that long. And what on earth did Enrique do that got us such(prenominal) a large bill?I ignored that and simply stared at the numbers on the screen, my heart sinking. Ive got a lot of equity in the house.What? Her jaw nearly dropped. Youd risk your house instead of just taking on more work?A terrible image came to my mentality me, trapped in some small apartment with two hollo babies. End it, just end it.Its just an option, I pointed out. A precaution net. And speaking of which Did you talk to Enrique?Lara nodded. I did. Im going to do a atomic administra tive work for him on the side.Good. One less thing to live guilty about. Youll be okay whence.This isnt about me I dont understand. wherefore cant you just take a couple of jobs? Ive got reams of requests There are faint ones, like that ghost the other day.I tried to hide my dismay at that. I piddlent been feeling well, thats all. And this is kind of a physical line of work.Laras savory eyes scrutinized me for several seconds. Then maybe youre the one who brings to be looking for another job.No I exclaimed. This is what I do. Its the only thing I do.But if youre sick Im fine. Im seeing the doctor tomorrow and then I faltered. And then what? And then Ill be fine. Back to work. My appointments at noon, so conflagration, you could schedule something later that afternoon. Find me a troll or a banshee.She sighed. I didnt mean to upset you.Im not upset. But it was a lie. My majority had increased without my realizing it, and I matte up flushed.Lara rose, shutting the laptop a nd picking up her plate. middling get yourself better. We can figure this out then. Do you need a ride or everything tomorrow?Im not that sick, I told her. And, of course, I could always yield my unlicensed teenage sister drive me. Well be back in business again soon, youll see.Lara gave me a tight smile, attempt to hide concern but failing. She wandered off to Tims bed means, and Jasmine sat up on the couch, where shed overheard everything. Thats a near(a) idea, you know, she said. Sell this place. Just move to the Otherworld with the kids.I started to bedevil her but paused. It was an option. Id have plenty of daycare there a hale castle of babysitters. My daughters would be raised like royalty. They were royalty. But raising them there meant theyd probably lose whatever humanity was in them. They would be nobility for all intents and purposes. Was that what I wanted? It was already happening to me.They may be boys, I reminded Jasmine. Then its back to work.Kiyo called that night, wanting to know if Id heard anything. I told him it was too soon for the results but that Id let him know when the doctor called. It was a small lie. As Id slipped to Lara, I was actually going back to the posture for the results. Twins had popped me into a high-risk category, apparently, and along with delivering the results in person, theyd wanted to do another ultrasound. I didnt want Kiyo around for that, obviously, but I wouldnt have minded him coming over that night. I wanted the contact, the love. Most importantly, I wanted to feel like he wasnt repulsed by me in my online state.When noon came the next day, I went like someone going to her own funeral. My mind was blank, unable to focus on anything, and Jasmine probably would have been a safer driver. Shed come along thered been no discussion. Neither of us spoke on the drive over, and I could see she was wound just as tightly with tension. Whatever happened, it was going to be big.Soon, I murmured as we walked in. Soon thisll be over, one way or another.Or not so soon.The delegacy was running behind, and it was like the continuation of some cosmic joke. Id been counting polish up the seconds until this moment, and now the wait was indefinite while Dr. Sartori caught up with his schedule. Admittedly, Id never felt angry at doctors who fell behind. I figured it just meant they were giving needed time and care to their patients. Maybe he was tied up because some other woman had discovered she was having a world-conquering monster.Eugenie? The sound of my spot made me flinch. A nurse smiled serenely at me. Were ready for you. It was a repeat of forrader, changing into a gown and getting on the enquiry table. This is it, this is it. Dr. Sartori was back, but a different tech worked today. Her name was Ruth, and she had a kindly, well-nigh grandmotherly air that felt reassuring. Like she could maybe mold all this.Dr. Sartori had a file of papers he began flipping through as Ruth lubed up my s tomach. Again, I stared, still having a hard time believing there were two living beings in there.Well, he said. I have satisfactory news.Jasmine made a sound that almost sounded like a laugh. A bitter one, that is. Like me, she knew there was little that was going to be good here. In fact, things soon got worse.A knock sounded at the door, and the nurse Id seen in front stuck her head in. Im sorry to interrupt you, she said. Her eyes fell on me. Theres a man here who says hes your boyfriend and that he was running late for the exam.My oral cavity went dry. Kiyo? I managed.Thats him. Ill go get him.Shed taken my ID of Kiyo as confirmation and acceptance. I opened my mouth to pro analyze, but she was deceased. I started to see to it one of the others to go stop her, but by that point, Ruths paddle had made contact. The screen again showed shadowy forms, and the sound of those rapid heartbeats filled the room.There they are, said Dr. Sartori. We can wait for your boyfriend before getting to the results.No, we The nurse re off-key with Kiyo, who was all magnetize and smiles as he introduced himself. Sorry Im late. I had the time wrong. Lara corrected me. That last part was to me, and despite the pleasant expression on his face, I aphorism a hard look in his eyes. He didnt like the deception. I had kept this from him, lying about when Id get the results.How had he found me? Lara had cognise the time but not the place. For a moment, I thought Jasmine superpower be playing a game, but her face showed shock and caution at his arrival. She was as surprised as me. The referral, I realized. Hed read it before and knew which doctor I was seeing.Well, then, continued Dr. Sartori. Now that were all here, we can go over everything. You can rest easy about your family history. No reap of anything abnormal in either one. Both of the fetuses genetic tests came back fine.It was a sign of Kiyos self-control that he said nothing because I could have sworn the word bot h? was on his lips. His only reaction was another sharp look at me, his expression growing darker as he realized what Id been hiding. The doctor and tech were watching the monitor, so they didnt see what Jasmine and I did.And you know you know the gender? I asked.Dr. Sartori nodded. You cant actually see it on the ultrasound now, but the one Ruths got a close-up of now thats a girl. I exhaled in relief, and yet somehow, I knew what his next words would be as Ruth shifted to the other amorphous blob. And this ones a boy.Silence so ice-cold and so heavy fell that I couldnt believe neither of the offices lag noticed the lack of joy this news was receiving.A girl, said Kiyo. And a boy.Dr. Sartori nodded, flipping through a a couple of(prenominal) more pages. Based on what youve told us and what we can see, were putting your due date around the end of October. Although, with twins, youre at a higher risk for early delivery, so well be seeing you more often than in a normal pregnanc y. And while this test gives us a lot of info, it doesnt tell everything, so youll have others soon. You havent had any pain since the CVS, have you? Any reactions?No, I said flatly. My eyes were on those images, my world dominated by those heartbeats.Good. Youll still want to take it easy to avoid any miscarriage risk.He went over a few more issues, told me when to come back, and then asked if we had any questions. I half-expected Kiyo to ask for an stillbirth then and there, but he was still biting back his words. It was going to be a for later conversation, I knew.Ruth cleaned me up and then retreated with the doctor. They gestured Kiyo along with them. Its crowded, said Dr. Sartori good-naturedly. You can meet up in the waiting room to schedule your next appointment.Yes, said Kiyo, eyes thudding into me. Well talk out there.I forced a pained smile, and Jasmine turned anxiously toward me the second the door shut. He is pissed, she said.I know. You dont have to tell me.I pulled on my clothes, my limbs feeling leaden. Oh God. I cant believe this is happening. Why? Why did I defy the odds? It was a one in lead chance. One in three My voice was turning hysterical, as I begged this teen girl for answers. All girls. All boys. Either was more likely than this. Why couldnt it have been one of those? Why couldnt we have had an easy fix?Jasmines face was solemn. But you do. You said if one was a boy, youd still have an stillbirth. You said youd do it. There was a challenge in her voice.I finished putting on my shoes and looked away from her. The monitor was black, the room silent, but I could still hear the heartbeats in my head. If I had an abortion to ensure the prophecy wasnt fulfilled, Id be taking an innocent life. My daughter that creation was still crazy to me had no part in this. It wasnt her fault her brother was destined for blood and destruction. Really, was it even his fault? There was hardly anything to him yet. Just a shadow. And a heartbeat. How could you dictate the future of someone not even born? How could you know what he would turn into? Was anyones potential really set in stone?And how could I be the one to kill that potential?How could I silence that heartbeat?Either of them.Eugenie? Jasmines voice was puzzled. Youre going to do it, right?I lifted my eyes from my feet. I I dont know.You have to.A new voice spoke in the room. My skin tingled, and suddenly, Deanna materialized before us. I jumped. In light of everything else that had been happening in my life, shed kind of gone off my radar. Id left her in Enriques hands and assumed that everything was settled with her when she hadnt answered my summoning.What the hell? I demanded. What are you doing here? So much for her moving on.Deanna looked like she always did, wearing that desolate look ghosts so often had.You have to, she repeated, ignoring my questions. Her expression grew bleaker. If you dont get rid of your children, Kiyo will kill you.